First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for their kind words, thoughts, and prayers. There is no easy way to get through the death of a parent, but being part of “The Adams Family” certainly added to the entertainment value of the whole situation.
My dad was a big clown, being serious was not his forte’. He was a country boy through and through and I don’t think he ever met a man he didn’t like. Likewise, nobody who ever met him could resist falling in love with him. He lived in Kansas his entire life, and therefore most of his friendships were longstanding ones. His two best friends were boys he’d run around with since junior high school. I simply cannot fathom a friendship spanning some 60 years.
Like I said, he was a country boy, and as such, in his younger days was an avid hunter and fisherman. He also collected anything and everything that had to do with nature, such as rocks, bones, antlers, driftwood, barn wood, and actually any stick, twig, or log he thought was cool looking. He was always very proud to show these treasures to me because he knew I was just like him in this respect, and many of his treasures would come home with me. I can’t tell you how thrilled my husband was when he was moving me into his house and discovered boxes and boxes of rocks, antlers, and birds nests. I just couldn’t seem to get him to understand the value of the boxes of rocks (that took two people to carry) and it finally just came down to this; if you want me, the rocks come too.
Hello. I’m Moogirl, and I’m a redneck.
Anyway, after the funeral, the sister and I went to my uncle’s farm in Cherryvale, Ks (try finding THAT on a map, I dare you), which was the perfect place to be. It was my dads’ favorite place on the planet to be and it holds some of the best childhood memories I have. If anyone ever wanted to see why my dad was the way he was, they’d need look no further than the farm people. My uncle has four boys my age and older who also own farms nearby. I’m not sure who gets a bigger kick out of each other, them or us. We got to spend two days of laughter, old pictures, and even older stories.
There was still several inches of ice on the ground in Cherryvale, which only added to the excitement of cow feeding time. You just haven’t lived until you slipped on a frozen cow pie. I dare say that watching the cows try to ice skate to the troughs was the most entertainment I’ve had in a while.
I need to get out more.
For some unexplained reason, it was more important than life itself for me to get a picture of the cows all lined up at the trough...from behind. I just didn’t think I would be able to leave if I wasn’t able to get a picture of a long line of cow butts. I still can’t figure that one out, but it was just insanely important to me. So there I was, in 40 below temperatures (not really, but it was in the teens), with my $3,000 camera, trying to dodge ice, frozen cow patties, NON-frozen cow patties, and very non-trusting cows, trying to get the perfect shot of cow butts.
You just have no idea how uncooperative cows can be, and I wondered if Ansel Adams ever had problems like this. But I got the shots I wanted and it only cost me a pair of tennis shoes and a little dignity. (Blogger isn’t letting me post any pictures for some reason, or it would be wall-to-wall cow butts up in here. Perhaps this is a good thing.)
So now all that’s left is the icky part of returning to the real world. But I’m ok, just kind of wandering around the house not quite knowing what to do with myself. I will try to get back to the business of solving the world’s problems just as soon as the apathy wears off.
I have one piece of advice though. If your father is still living, and you have a good relationship, spend as much time as possible with him. If he is still living and you do not have a good relationship, please, please try to forgive, understand and make amends. If making amends is not possible, then at the very least, try to forgive, in your own heart, and let it go. When the time comes, you will be so grateful that you did.
7 comments:
Great story! My dad was similar--but a city version of your dad. I like to think that where ever my father is right now--I really hope he is dancing. He always liked to dance.
My best friend lost her Dad three years before I lost mine. One night, while we were drinking, I said, "Maybe heaven is like the best bar---except you never get drunk and you can smoke as many cigarettes you want without getting sick" We decided that heaven is a bar and our dads are sitting there, talking, drinking and dancing---and on the bar teevees---are our lives on earth. They can watch us from the bar. And they wait for us to join them. Sounds crazy, right? yeah...Grief is silly sometimes. But maybe....
I raise a glass to your dad. I'm sure he was very very proud of you. My Dad was proud of me.....I still miss him.
Oh, and I have a similar like for....*ahem* chickens. yep. I have a thing for chickens. I think cows are cute critters, too.
A nice tribute, it sounds like your father was a neat guy.
The story of photographing the cow butts is wonderful. And I'm sure for the reasons you explained, Ansel Adams is not known as America's premier livestock photographer. The last time I was in Yosemite, Halfdome didn't seem to mind how many shots i took of it.
Are you still on the old blogger? several of us were forced to convert two days ago.
It's great to have you back, honey.
Please wipe your shoes before entering the house.
BTW....It's been about 20 years since I lost my dad. While time lessened the pain, I still catch myself thinking about something interesting and saying to myself, "I gotta tell Pop about....." But now the pain has been replaced by a smile. Something tells me your smiles won't take nearly as long.
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry for your grief. You dad sounds like a wonderful man and a great parent. Whatever it takes for you to get through your mourning, then do it, even if it involves photographing bovine butts.
As practical advice (remember, I work with grieving people all the time), stay away from alcohol, don't overdo the caffeine, try to get a bit of exercise, and try to get some sleep.
My dad died in 2001, and I still talk to him. I love Holyfatman's idea of heaven. Heaven should be different for different people, don't you think?
Oh you people are just killing me, you are all so funny, which is great medicine.
Fatman, I absolutely love your vision of Heaven and what a great image of the dads all watching us on the TVs. I would have to picture mine with a TV in his deer hut (or whatever they’re called) or in the middle of a stream. But I love the images you have. I’m also glad to hear you have a thing for chicken butts (or was it just chickens in general?). At least there are two of us who are a little “strange”.
Sage, I haven’t tried to post anything since this post on the 14th. I didn’t have any problems, but like I said, it wouldn’t let me post a picture of any kind, which I thought was odd. Was the switchover painful? How did they force you to switch? Should I be expecting the Blogger Gestapo at my door any minute? Do we hate the new blogger?
Shooter, I’m sooo sorry for making fun of the wimpy inch and a ½ of snow you were getting the last time we talked. See, this is what happens when you make fun of The Mighty Moo, God proceeds to dump TEN FEET of snow on you! You’ve been warned. And for the record, it was easier just to throw the shoes away than to try to de-cow patty them.
Cait, why not just kill me now! lol All you left out was chocolate and cigarettes! Seriously though, of course you’re right, at least about the exercise and sleep, neither of which I want to do. As for the alcohol and caffeine, well, the alcohol was a necessary evil and the caffeine is just a way of life. But I don’t go over board with either one…ok, I won’t go overboard anymore if at all possible. lol
Seriously, I’m doing pretty well. I have a lot of peace, and I feel a little snark creeping back in, so I must be coming back around. You guys are all so great and you’ll never know how much I’ve appreciated you.
You’ll have to excuse me now, I have 14 verses of “I Will Survive” to sing. Was that Donna Summers? Who sang that song?
I don't know about "I Will Survive" but she sang "She Works Hard for the Money", which doesn't quite seem appropriate here, but is still one of my fave songs - she said, apropos of absolutely nothing.
It was Gloria Gaynor that did "I Will Survive" not Donna Summer.
I did the Ansel Adams thing at Yosemite when I was going for my photography degree back in the days before digital and the teachers treated him like a god. I guess the long exposures you have with a view camera doesn't make much difference that cows move if you use a large depth of field.
I haven't made the switch from the old blogger yet, but they did say something about it was the last time I could log in and skip upgrading. Hopefully it'll keep me logged in for a while since I don't have to do that very often.
I didn't have any trouble uploading images though, maybe it was something else that was cauing the glitch?
Well I do try to appreciate my father since I know he's not going to last much longer. The thing is that he doesn't seem to like my wife and doesn't say much when we're together. It does make it a bit harder.
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