It's Science Saturday! There may be 3 inches of ice on the ground, but that doesn't mean we can't use this time to learn a little something. It just means I can’t make it to the mailbox, or the birdfeeders, or past the porch.
Since I'm being held captive in the house, I thought I’d take a trip to the Virtual Science Museum. So here are facts that you never knew you were missing, and answers to question you never knew you had.
FACT: Creative types have more sex partners. They said it, I didn't. I'm not opening my mouth...
FACT: The longer you live together, the more you start to look alike. Look at you partner, and be very afraid. Don’t have a partner? Think about this before you get one.
FACT: Antibacterial soap no better than regular soap. Either way, wash your hands!
Fact: America is named after an Italian. And yet we STILL celebrate Columbus Day.
QUESTION: Why Do Men Have Nipples? Gives them something to play with while we’re doing the dishes.
QUESTION: Why don’t penguin feet freeze? I swear, if I had penguins in my backyard right now, their feet would SO be frozen.
QUESTION: Why does hair turn gray? Oh, I don’t know. How about kids, jobs, bills, taxes, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, neighbors, bosses, politicians, wars, nukes, global warming, gas prices, Iraq, Iran, the U.S. of A., Syria, Darfur, Africa, the Congo, too much religion, not enough religion, no religion, slow drivers, long lines, people talking on their cell phones, people who won’t answer their cell phones, computers, ipods, Blackberries, email, IM’s, video games, and GEORGE BUSH!
QUESTION: Can hair suddenly turn white from fright? No, otherwise we’d all be albinos (see above).
QUESTION: What's the significance of 11/11? Sorry all you "numbers" people (you know who you are).
QUESTION: Why is yawning contagious? Maybe it isn’t. Maybe you’re just boring…
QUESTION: Why do we have an Adam's Apple? So men can tell when their date has that “little something extra”?
QUESTION: Why do your eyes close when you sneeze? The Sister used to tell me if I sneezed with my eyes open they’d pop out. Of course she also used to tell me if I petted our Pekinese too hard on the head, his eyes would pop out...
QUESTION: Why do golf balls have dimples? I don’t care.
QUESTION: What is the funny bone? If you have to ask, you don’t have one.
QUESTION: Why do all air traffic control towers have slanted windows? They have slanted windows?
QUESTION: What makes a Republican's brain different from a Democrat's? Republican have brains? Who knew...
And for the grand finale, I thought I’d state the obvious:
FACT: Democrats and Republicans both adept at ignoring facts.
Well that’s it for this trip to the Virtual Science Museum. I must run, the penguins are all stuck to the birdbath again…
18 comments:
it's actually 11/11/11 (eleventh month, eleventh day, eleventh hour, the end of the Great War)
Ok, did you hear about the guy who needed a heart transplant. They told him they had two he could pick from. On cost $20,000 and belonged to a 30 year old man who was killed in an accident. The other cost 200,000 and belonged to an 80 year old Republican. "Why does that heart cost so much," the patient ask, "it came from an old guy." "Yes," the doctor agreed, "but it was never used."
lol I still think I'd go with the 39 year old heart! I'd prefer one that wasn't black!
A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies when George W Bush came by on his morning run. Bush asked the boy what the puppies were.
The boy said, "Republicans."
The president beamed, patted the boy on the head and said, "Thatta boy."
A few weeks later Bush was jogging again this time with Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy's house, winked at Dick, and said "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?"
The boy said,"Democrats."
Bush looked crushed and said, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans."
"Well," the boy said, "that was before they opened their eyes."
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
Moogirl, are you race baiting with your comment? I'm not sure how to take it about not wanting a black heart--it doesn't sound good--and if I needed a new heart and some people probably think I do, then I'd be glad for whatever is available as long as it pumps.
LOL race baiting! Oh you are just the clever one, aren’t you Sage? Perhaps I should have said I’d want a heart that wasn’t “blackened”?
And thank you, thank you very much. Alex will be here all week, folks. (I wonder how one would type a rim shot?)
I had a feeling you meant black as in 'decaying', MG. Maybe it's the 'we both have uteruses' that made me understand what you were saying while Sage chose the alternate route.
Oh good grief, he wasn't serious was he? I thought Sage was being all subtly humorous again, especially since the joke never mentioned race.
I meant black-heart, as in dark and evil. I'm pretty sure all hearts are the same color once they yank 'em out of you.
And I would suggest that we "share the uterus”, Murf, but I’m sure that would be misunderstood too!
I am sorry for misunderstanding, now I see what you mean by a "black heart." Suppose since I recently wrote about dating a racist smoker (my post on Dating Terri) my mind was on racism. Again, sorry for the misunderstanding. Now I've insulted you twice, thinking those blue toes were yours and thinking less than kind thoughts about your choice of a heart. May you (and all of us) never need a new heart.
and rereading this, I realize that honest can sometimes be my downfall, I should have just said I was joking, but Murf would have known better.
lol no harm, no foul. As long as you know there's not a racist bone in my body. I re-read what I wrote and could see how it could be misconstrued.
I say we blame it all on Murf!
And just so you know, you don’t get to share the uterus now…
I like Sage so much that I will be happy to be his fall guy...either that or I am just use to following behind him, cleaning the messes that he leaves in his wake. ;-)
Murf, my very own scapegoat, that might be useful sometime in the future
Murf, my very own scapegoat, that might be useful sometime in the future
Murf, my very own scapegoat, that might be useful sometime in the future
gee, dang blogger wouldn't post and when it did, it did with a vengence.
I just thought had Tourettes.
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